party at the beach with the ewa

The EWA Beach party began with Zack Matthews vs. Super Phoenix, a masked man from the Arabian Desert. Both had great ring attire. Matthews looked a little rusty after his time away, but won over the masked man.

Hijynx came and thankfully interrupted Apollo Cruz’s whining. He waved his Berger Cookies around and with the added courage they provide, challenged John Berg for his EWA Maryland title. Apollo was so distraught at being cut off he accepted for Mr. Berg and stalked out of the ring. Hijynx went right at Berg and the ref, Maniac John, rang the bell. After an exciting back and forth match, Hijynx got to his Berger Cookies and won after an assist from Jim Christian.

The next match was Wes ‘The Lone Wolf’ Mercer’s first title defense. He won the EWA Cruiserweight championship at Evolution 2K11 in an intense ladder match verses Shawn Cannon. At the beach, he faced Shawn Webber, a new face in EWA. We enjoyed chanting Barney, Prince of Purple with the kids throughout his match.

This is what happens when you refuse the support of the fans Mr. Mercer.

He retained his title via a DQ, as both Trent Farrell and Shawn Cannon felt the need to interfere.

Next, Jim Christian came out like Santa and threw Berger Cookies to all the kids. Mr. Christian brought out Adam, our birthday boy this show, who called out the Purple Princess. Mr. Mercer was too scared to come out though.

The Team of Matt Wylde and Harold Varelli

Violent Intentions approached the ring next, the team of Matt Wylde and Harold Varelli, to face a new tag team, Davey Havok and Josh Nyadi. Poor Nyadi got himself isolated from his partner and we became afraid this blog post would turn into his obituary.

Eventually Havok got the hot tag and pulled out the win. Then ran, as did Nyadi. This was prudent in the light of the brutality Violent Intentions served up throughout the match.

Next up, a grudge match between Trent Farrell and Shawn Cannon, who lost his title due to the Hero Killer’s interference at Evolution. Farrell vowed before the match to interfere with all of the fans’ heroes. In a match full of quick pinfalls and back and forth against the ropes, Farrell proved he knew how to entertain the crowd.

I still hate him though.

Trent couldn’t keep his anger under control and stooped to throwing sand in Cannon’s face right in front of the ref, disqualifying himself and giving Cannon the revenge win, if not in the clean way he wanted.

Grey Wolf proved his monumental courage by stepping in the ring with Blood, whose food of choice was his tag team championship belt. It was nice to see a believable opponent for Blood-the belief being Grey Wolf had a chance of winning against the Baltimore Butcher. Blood hid behind a tree at one point.

I almost fell off my bench in shock.

This was a match of big men putting their bodies on the line with big moves. Even barefoot and in shorts, the Baltimore Butcher managed to take control, but in the end Grey Wolf defeated him with a display of valor not often seen in the EWA ring.

Sports Management International came out alone to offer Zack Matthews representation. Zack came out in a Macho Man shirt and spoke for the crowd when he told SMI he didn’t like their organization. He got beat for his candor, but wouldn’t back down, running after SMI as they left to the back and getting pulled back by security and then beaten down again by SMI for his trouble.

Afterwards, Thomas Farnsworth Bentley came out in his golf clothes to face the Mime. Mr. Bentley played along with the Mime’s attempt at tug of war for one of the highlights of the match. The Mime blowed fake smoke in Maniac John’s face for another hilarious spot. In the end, Mr. Bentley got his club back from the Mime and was disqualified.

Our main event was a three way dance between Chace Rawlings, JD ‘Bamm Bamm’ Roberts, and Apollo Cruz. The defending EWA Champion came out whining hard about how he didn’t want to be there, of course, because both top contenders out shined him in weight and skill. The match was great until Versace got involved on behalf of Apollo. While satisfying to see Versace roped up by Chace Rawlings, it lead to Cruz rolling him up to get the win, after a speedy count from Maniac John the Ref.

Despite losing the Maryland title, Versace Enterprises came out on top at the end of the night. Is Maniac John their new secret weapon to keep a stranglehold on the EWA title belts? We’ll have to find out at the Boomers Bash on June 11th at 5PM. See for details.

How long can Hijynx hold onto the title if the ref is on Versace's books?


About June Faramore

Writer of fantasy, mainstream, and young adult fiction. Poet and sketcher. Mother. I read a lot and love cheese. Guitar playing singer-songwriter. I also enjoy stepping on the cracks in the sidewalk. View all posts by June Faramore

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